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A Letter To The Witnesses Of My Breast Cancer Fight

You are far more important than you realize.

You carry a record of my history with you. You fill in the blanks of my story that I was too overwhelmed at the time to remember. You remind me of all those moments that have somehow become blurred in a fog in order for me to focus on the major task of surviving. You remind me of how far I have come.

You remind me that I am not alone. Mostly, you remind me that this is not just my fight it is our fight.

You held a space for me to go through every thought and emotion I needed to. Without judgement you allowed me to spend hours with you researching and brainstorming questions, validating that I was indeed thinking clearly and deserved answers.

You watched me go from feeling utterly confused angry and defeated to grateful and determined and happy, sometimes all within a matter of minutes. That cycle is one that would repeat itself more times than either of us can probably recall.

Every piece of new information put before me led me to another question, another injustice revealed and a new sense of urgency to share information to help the next woman to pass along this road. You remind me why it is so important for me to continue telling my story and to help other women tell theirs.

Each witness holds a moment and a memory of my journey for me. Some of you hold more moments than I can number.

Please know that I can’t remember everything you did for me or everything I went through. I wish I could. I am so grateful for it.

Tell me the details of how we made it through, the times we cried from exhaustion and the times we laughed like children. It is always on my mind, don’t be afraid to bring it up. For me it feels like I’m returning from a far away trip or battle. I am back. The fog is lifting.

More than anything I want you to know that even though some of the details are fuzzy, one thing is crystal clear and that was your love and your support. I remember that clearly and I love you for it.

You were there. Day after day after day, you were there.


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