Updated: Jun 11, 2019
I've been thinking more about the way I communicate and considering where I've been allowing my energy to be taken from me. The five words I listed below stood out to me the most over the last few weeks and I wonder if these five declarations just might be ruining your day, draining your energy and minimizing your power too.
There are things you truly need of course, requirements or necessities like food, shelter, water, love. You need these things.
Not everything is a need though and overusing the word changes its meaning. It begins to feel like a chore you didn't agree to or worse, like scarcity, when in fact you have what you need. For example, I need to go to the store. I need to go to work. I need to eat. I need more money. I need to take mom to the doctors. I need a break. I need a vacation, I need to pay the bills.
All possibly true but this word takes the choice and ability to discern what’s actually true away.
When your bring your choice into the moment, what is actually true and what have you decided to do and what have you agreed to? You're accountable for your choice, own it and the energy you put into it. I’ve decided I want to help, I desire something fun or beautiful, I’ve agreed to bring garlic bread to the pasta feed. I’m going to complete this project, I’m looking forward to a road trip or vacation. I want this. Feel the shift of your mindset and accountability in your body. Does owning your energy feel more empowering, less resentful of the situation or less stressful?
Start, stop, start, stop. How many times have vowed to start a routine, start a diet, start taking better care of yourself, start a job, or start a project. Starting feels quick and impulsive and like it could end at any second. It may also trigger or suggest failure when the desired or expected outcome isn’t met in the way you thought it would or should have ended.
What if instead of starting, you begin. You begin to nourish, begin a project and begin to learn. Beginning feels like there’s more possibility, more space, more time for growth, and room for completion and support for the unexpected with more acceptance for the outcome.
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Are you busy? Or are you doing something? Busy feels so scattered and maybe you do feel scattered, let’s shift that. Busy also suggest, that if you weren't so busy maybe your priorities would be different. Woah, say that again. What are your priorities, do they match where your placing all that busy-ness?
Rather than feeling helpless to everything that’s coming at you and declaring how busy you are choose to accept what you’ve agreed to, call in help where you can and begin saying no where you can. For example, if your day is full, you feel complete, satisfied, you’re doing something, being present, working on a project or going somewhere that you’ve chosen, communicate that and align it with your priorities.
Can’t do what you want, can’t have what you want, can’t be where you want to be. Can’t because I don’t have xyz that somebody else has, resources, money, time, support….
You can change that. Decide, decide that you will be able to do xyz when I have xxx today I’ll do (fill in the blank) instead.
The simple act of choosing to say no is powerful. If it’s something you don’t want to do, simply say no, that’s not for me. It’s a totally different experience to own the fact that you are choosing to say no or not to do something rather than communicating that you can’t or that you might.
Did you agree to do something you no longer want to do, was there a reason you agreed to it in the first place? Is that reason still valid, is it true? If not then can you communicate that and shift the plan or will you follow through simply because agreed to it and you want to honor that.
Either way it’s a choice, you choose.
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